Decisions, decisions...

"Life is the sum of all your choices" - Albert Camus.

Dear readers, I'm writing this post sitting naked in front of my television watching last nights UFC Pay Per View and listening to Hell Yeah's new album, 'Band of Brothers'. You're probably thinking one of three things;

1. That's far too much information.

That's probably true. But sharing is caring, after all.

2. Wow! Men CAN multi-task.

The notion that men cannot multi-task is a myth. We've been able to succesfully drink our beer whilst pretending to listen to the other half for years. That's a skill.

3. Why?

Because I wanted to. I made a conscious decision to strip down to my birthday suit and relax on this wonderfully sunny Sunday. Seriously, the sky is actually blue today. Who would have known!?

And that, my friends, is the theme of today's blog. Decisions. Sometimes I make them without a seconds thought as to the consequences. Other times, I 'um' and 'ah' for so long that the decision is eventually made for me.

We'll start the last week worth of action with the last couple of days.

A friend and I decided last weekend that we really, really needed to see one of our best friends who we hadn't seen in a good couple of years. I know what you're thinking. How can he be one of your best friends if you haven't seen him in so long? The answer is simple: Life. Until the last couple of months, we've both been ridiculously busy at weekends, always doing things that meant we could not get down to see him. That's not a good excuse, I admit.

So last weekend we decided to give Rock And Roll Papa a text and see if we could come up the following weekend. To our delight, he wasn't working, so on Friday we headed down to Evesham to see Papa and his family.

It is amazing to see the transformation from angsty teenager to mature husband and father of two. As I type this, I am swelling with pride. He is such an amazing father, and his wife, MS Mummy of Two is a wonderful woman who speaks openly and honestly about her daily struggles. They welcomed us into their home for the weekend, and it was by far the best weekend I've had in a long time (I even got slightly addicted to their eldest daughter's hand held game...).

Rest assured, it will not be as long until I see them again. But this weekend got me thinking about what I want in life.

I'm 28 years old, and I've always wanted children. Two, to be exact. But after things ended with The Bitch, I don't know when that will happen. I wanted one before I turned 30, so that I was still 'young enough' to play football outside with them etc.

Let's deviate for a minute...

In the previous blog post, I told you about the slanging match I had with The Bitch last Friday night over the phone. It occured to me that each and every single one of my previous relationships has ended on bad terms, and I've never spoken to them again. It's just the way I am, as I decide to cut ties and completely move on.

For some reason, I don't know why, I decided on Wednesday to text her and apologise. I'm still absolutely furious with her insinuations that my folks were not supportive of her, but I felt I had to apologise for the way I spoke to her and for the names I called her over the phone. Don't get me wrong, I still don't intend on ever seeing her again, but I wanted our last communication to be a happy one, and not the standard 'go fuck yourself'. So from now on, if I ever discuss her again, she'll be known simply as The Ex, rather than The Bitch.

And now back on topic...

What I don't want to do is rush in to anything just to have children before I 'get old'. Whatever happens in life, will happen. I'm intent on making up for my 'lost' singleton 20s. I've got two years to party as much as possible and make up for the 8 years I spent tucked away at home on a Friday and Saturday night, saving for the family life I thought The Ex wanted.

On that note, we'll move on to Miss America. Remember I told you that she was not over her ex, and that I couldn't be bothered with the effort? Well, I'm going to see her at the back end of August, even stopping at hers rather than getting a hotel.

At the time of organising the trip (a few weeks ago), she insisted that I was merely coming over as a friend and that nothing would happen. I never thought, or assumed, that anything would, and told her so (as much as I wanted something more though...). But over the past couple of weeks, her actions and her words have suggested otherwise (or it could simply be a case of me misreading and over analysing things as usual.

Firstly, she texts me as soon as she wakes up. Every day. It's got to the point where I can clock watch the seconds before the time hits 1pm BST / GMT and huzzah! My phone goes off and I have a WhatsApp notification from Miss America.

Secondly, we Skype'd last Sunday for a good 4 hours. That's not the normal length we Skype for - it's normally only an hour or so, but we'll ignore that. It was something she said during the Skype conversation that has puzzled me.

5 years ago, when she lived over here and we worked together, we very nearly kissed when out one night. But I was with The Ex, and couldn't do it, as much as I wanted to. We've also been very talkative about our relationship failings, giving each other advice about certain things. So when I mention the slanging match between The Ex and I, she said something along the lines of (and I paraphrase here); "Pfft, I want to tell her that I could and should have had her fella". Could? Yes, probably. Should? Why? Why are you saying this now?

I didn't want to dwell on that because it would probably end in new found levels of awkwardness. But looking back on it now, I should have pushed her for an elaboration. As the days count down to my flight, I may do so.

One woman I've not pushed for anything with, and quite deliberately, is Girl, Interrupted.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, our last encounter ended in such awkwardness that we've barely spoken to each other over the last 2-3 weeks. In fact, I haven't text her in over a week. My previous attempts at starting up a conversation were either replied to with one or two word responses or a wall of silence.

So I couldn't be bothered.

However, she decided to randomly text me yesterday. Why? You haven't wanted a conversation with me, or wanted to see me over the last couple of weeks. So why now? Oh, I see, you've had your tattoo re-touched. Congratulations.

When she asked what tattoo I thought she should get next, I replied "A swallow, on your neck". I did this for two reasons. Firstly, because I was having a weekend with my friend and his family, and didn't want to be disturbed - hoping she'd get the hint. Secondly, because it's the sort of arsey response she had previously given me.

But no, she continued.

I really, really do like this girl. But it goes back to the effort thing again. Right now, I can't be bothered putting it in if the other party clearly doesn't want to. So her last text of the evening was ignored.

Decisions. Sometimes I make them, other times I dither. But I can say for certainty that whatever decisions I make in the immediate future, they will be for my benefit, and nobody elses. Some may say that this is a selfish attitude, and you may be correct.

But I've spent my entire life wanting to please others, that it's about time I started looking after number 1.

Me.

Feel free to comment and share, folks. Also, don't forget to follow me on Twitter (@Elf_Olive).